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Why playing hard to get could help your love life

Posted on: December 7, 2012 15:20:20

Why playing hard to get could help your love lifeWhether or not you should have sex on the first date is a time-old question that often sparks up a fiery debate among friends.

However, UK singles who are not averse to being intimate on their first meeting could in fact be damaging their relationships in the long-term, a new study has suggested.

Most people will have a friend who shares the view that moving too fast will automatically make the relationship a weak one because it is based on lust not love. They might preach that leaving nothing to the imagination will mean that the romance is likely to fizzle out after a short period of dating and will make you look as though you are only after one thing.

Others are likely to argue that on the other hand, sometimes if things just feel right, why bother waiting? There are plenty of people out there who have achieved a long and happy marriage since having sex on the first date and if things were meant to be, it wouldn't matter if they waited ten minutes or ten years before taking the relationship a step forward.

However, this new research could make some singletons stop and think about how it could impact their love life in the long-run.

After speaking to over 10,000 unmarried people who were in a steady or serious relationship, scientists discovered that people who engaged in intimate relations before or within the first few weeks of dating were more likely to have lower levels of relationship communication, stability and satisfaction than those who had waited until later on.

Although scientists were not sure what the link was between delaying sex and more successful partnerships, they suggested that "the eventual mismatch between individual sexual expectations and actual rewards may undermine healthy couple formation processes".

"Results suggested that waiting to initiate sexual intimacy in unmarried relationships was generally associated with positive outcomes," researchers added.

However, the researchers did admit that the scores only varied slightly and even conceded that it could have nothing to do with sex.

So, although it might be worth bearing the information in mind next time you head out on your date, sometimes it is best not to be too concerned with statistics, studies and timescales, and instead just concern yourself with making sure you enjoy the time you spend searching for a new partner.

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